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I believe that your vehicle for expression (prose) is the stumbling block. Perhaps start with something more poetic then back into a form appropriate for your intended audience.
Well, the medium IS the message, isn’t it? In some ways, it’s a much a challenge to put these notions/feelings/beliefs/moods into words because we (meaning Jess and I, I guess) are so used to expressing ourselves in theatre – in soemthing three dimensional that changes over time – as opposed to in words, which you choose once and stay there on the page forever, pinning down what you were trying to say. And if you don’t quite capture it, you can’t say “next time try it like this…”
As a sidebar, this is why I’m glad a lot of funders also make it a point to see the work in question. It speaks a lot louder than words!